21 July 2006

Re-entry and PAG...

Re-entry from the Fair into the so-called real world has been bumpy and busy, this year. Cory's here for the week, taking guitar lessons daily.

I've just spent a good hour composing an answer to Fundin, who was asking me what was up with Dande and whether or not she was ever coming back to PAG. It was harder to write than I thought it would be. Pat (Tyndall) is all tied up in how I feel about it. PAG was the only time I spent in-game with him, for one thing ... and for another, he would be the first to say screw 'em, go play the way you want.

Hi Fundin,

I stopped playing as much when Tyn died, and summers are crazy-busy with festivals, so I'm rarely around. If I play, it's for FB Tues., Fri. and Sun. evenings (MDT), lately.

It's been longer than that since I've been to PAG, though. I thought I was taking a break to get un-crabby about the double-clicking and other stuff that was getting up my sleeve. I'm still not even sure whether I'm taking more of a break than I thought or I'm just done. I know it's tough (next to impossible ... you continue to do an incredible job) to lead a group like that if you can't get a commitment from the members, so I completely understand if you'd rather I just quit waffling and quit altogether.

Someone made a comment to me about how OOC Dande had gotten during PAG trips. That bothered me a lot and I was already crabby about the double-clicking and the STFU-type comments about RP, so I took a break. The reason I was PAGing in the first place was to spend time with people I didn't see anymore, except on PAG hunts. Now many of them have melted away and others are too busy beating the area to play CL the way I like to play. That's not to say that I believe PAG should play the way *I* want to play, but that if I can't play the way I want to play *and* hunt with PAG, then I have to make a choice. Sure, there are people I don't get a chance to see otherwise, but what's the point in seeing their icon if there's almost no interaction anyway? Sure, I feel bad about saying Dande'd come be a Good Horus Chick™ and then not showing up for this long, but there's way more Horus in the pocket healers than Dande will ever have. Sure, I would rather PAG would do what it can with what it has available (while staying at least a little IC, and without double-clicking or people who don't tolerate RP), but that's my problem, not anyone else's. Sure, I'd love Dande to get to the 2nd book, but it's plenty fun (possibly even more fun than if she ever did make it) to complain about how the group gets there only when she can't make the hunts.

Anyway, I love that you've created this group and maintained it this long. I want there to be a place for Dande-the-way-I-want-to-play-her in it, but I'm not sure there is.